Waiting...

How is the adoption going?

We're waiting. We're waiting for one thing.... So that we can get that sent somewhere..... So we can wait for them to send us something.... So that we can wait to get that done... .So that we can wait on the results.... So we can get started on our dossier (what we send to Haiti). So right now... we're waiting to wait! :) I dislike waiting in every way shape in form... Mainly because: 1. I'm not in control. 2. I like things done fast or faster! and 3. I feel time ticking away!

Last night my son (sitting on the toilet of course... some of the best conversations I have with The Bash are while he is seated on the toilet.... because he cannot run away!!)  asked me why we didn't have any babies in our house. At first I wasn't sure if he meant play dolls (ones like he sees every day when he is at daycare) or if he meant real ones, so I asked him what he meant. 

He said: "Ya know, mom, a baby that comes out of your belly.... Why don't you have a baby in your belly? Can you do that some time?" 

I said: "I would LOVE to have a baby in my belly, but for some reason it's not happening right now."

He said: "Why not?"
I said: "Just not my time right now. I actually don't know why I cannot!"

He said: "What about daddy? He can have a baby in his belly!"

I said: "No, boys don't get babies in their bellies."

He said: "Maybe when you get older you can have a baby in your belly. Like Aunt Alicia." (she is my older sister who had a baby recently)

I said: "Maybe! Right now though we are actually going to try and help a baby that is already born and give them a home. How does that sound?"

He said: "Where's a baby without a home?"

THE MAN said: "We are going to help a baby in Haiti"

He said: "Right now?!?"

I said: "I WISH! It will take a bit, but then they will come and live with us and be your brother or sister OK?"

He said: "Yes! I would like that..... I want a brother...."

I said: " I bet you do! But you may get a sister and that will be good too!"

He said: "OK.... but I really want a brother..."

I said: "I know babe, but you will be a good brother to a boy or a girl"

We smiled and hugged and had a moment there that I doubt I will soon forget. Then he told me that he was going to dream about me having babies come from my belly. I told him that would be an awesome dream, and to keep dreaming that because I do the same! :) I did ask him this morning what he dreamed about, and he told me that it was me having babies come out of my belly.... haha!

Maybe some day when I'm older..... maybe never.... either way we're going to add to our family and be able to give our son something we wanted to give to him for 3 years... a sibling! Praise God!

Keep praying for our family, our child that is going to be in our family, and for the process of adoption! We thank you for all your continued support and care! :)

As Time Goes By....

Oh how I wish something would be easy at times! 

Getting to bring our child home seems so far away it brings me to tears. The moments of even knowing who they are, male or female, getting to spend times with them, finding out more about them... it all seems a marathon or two away... I know it will all be worth it. I know our child will be amazing. I know that our family will feel a little more complete.... But for someone that wishes things could be done in her own timing (quickly) and her own way... This is SOOOOOOOOO hard. I just wanna see their face... 

OK mothers.. You will know.. I equate it to the last month of pregnancy. You know your life is going to change, but you can't wait. You gotta see your child's face. You gotta meet them. You gotta get them OUT of you because the anticipation is driving you nuts. I'm there... I'm ready... I wanna meet them. I wanna love them. I wanna provide for them... So much... Anybody else with me?!?!?! 

UPDATE:

We are about finished with our homestudy (yeah!) 

We have applied to immigration in the USA (yikes!)

Once they have said yes, we get some MORE fingerprints done and sent back to them

Once those are Okayed we will move on to our dossier.

We are HOPING this will take about a month for us to get things going and done. If we can get all this done hopefully we can send things in to Haiti soon! Then we are one step closer to knowing WHO will be our child! HOORAY! :) I have discovered that filling out paper work for an adoption is like a 2nd job, and once one thing is complete... there is ALWAYS another set of paperwork and tasks to finish for the next set of steps! :) My nagging husband level has increased from a level 4 to a level 7 (I'm sure he might rate me higher... ) due to the need to get paper work and "assignments" complete in a timely fashion if we are ever going to get this done! 

We also get to go in for a psych evaluation later this month! Is it weird I'm a little scared?!?! There's something about someone knowing so much about you and then deciding your sanity based on it, that kinda freaks me out! Isn't sanity all relative anyway! haha! :) 

Last, some of my workout friends put together a fundraiser for our family last week and it went SOOOOOOO well! Our family was blessed with so much! We cannot even begin to DESCRIBE how thankful we are for the people that are supporting us and helping us, and the funds that were given to us. The more our community shows their support the more comforted I am! I know how much love they will receive not just from us, but from our community and friends. AMEN!

Lord's Blessings to you All!

Fundraising

This was written by My Man, and I'm so thankful for his input in all of this! I hope you enjoy his honesty and amazing writing as much as I did! :)


Fundraising

Tonight some members of Andrea’s workout group at church are hosting a fundraising dinner for our adoption efforts. And it feels weird.

Don’t get me wrong, I have done fundraising before. In grade school, for sports teams, for youth group growing up, and now as a part of my job I have done numerous fundraisers to support our youth group. But this is different. I have never done a fundraiser for our family.

It is an incredibly humbling thing. I don’t mean that in the vain way that athletes and movie stars say it after they win some recognition. I mean it in the, it makes you feel small- like a spec of dirt, way. Especially as the man, the head of the household, I am asking for help, like a beggar. (In my mind I think of the leper outside the temple on the streets of Jerusalem, but it is no different than the bum on the street corner of today’s world.) This humility hurts. This humility is embarrassing.

But in a good way.

Today is the beginning of Lent, Ash Wednesday. Today we celebrate by remembering that we are nothing but dirt aside from the life giving love of our powerful creator. Today we remember that as sinners we are unworthy of our Father’s righteous ear, let alone of his live and salvation. Today is a day to be humbled, to recognize our shortcomings… Check.

“God shows his love for us in that while we were still sinners, Christ died for us.” –Romans 5:8.

This Lenten season we recognize God’s grace and mercy. His sacrifice of His own Son on our behalf. Today we are being reminded of God’s love and undeserved grace through his hands and feet, His church, as they support us in our shortcomings.

I have been meditating on Romans 12 lately and the second half of the verse speaks about what it looks like to be a follower of God;

“Let love be genuine. Abhor what is evil; hold fast to what is good.10 Love one another with brotherly affection. Outdo one another in showing honor. 11 Do not be slothful in zeal, be fervent in spirit, serve the Lord. 12 Rejoice in hope, be patient in tribulation, be constant in prayer.13 Contribute to the needs of the saints and seek to show hospitality.” –Romans 12:9-13



There’s more, but as you can see today I get to see God’s Word in action. Thanks to all the people who have and continue to help us. Your love is appreciated and your prayers continue to lift us up. I wish that we could do this without you, but… Thank you!

Haiti

Our home study has begun and we are almost through 3 of the 4 meetings! We' re so excited to get moving in this process, but with the home study comes a LOT of reading/homework!

You would think the home study is to look at your life under a magnifying glass and analyze every little bit of it! Although that is some of what the home study is all about,  most of the process is being educated on what we should prepare for, expect to see/deal with along the road, and to help us get ready for a new child to enter our family! With that comes a lot of studying and reading. Our awesome program is making sure that we have as little to no surprises as we embark on the international part of our journey! We are so thankful for that.

We have been fitting in a couple of hours of reading every night. It's all good reading, and important readings, but it just takes time. So once we have tucked our Bash into bed, we pull out our ipads and read, read, take tests, and read some more! Good thing we have each other for company. It's really a good bonding experience for The Man and I. 

I have to say the most eye opening part of this reading has been reading about the state of Haiti right now. I knew it was not great over there, but I had NO CLUE just what it was like over there until I read the travel information.  I encourage you to look at it yourself. Right now it has a DO NOT TRAVEL status, which is so encouraging to me since we will be going there three times. Here are some interesting points I found (Read from the site: http://travel.state.gov/content/passports/english/country/haiti.html): 

Overview:
The January 12, 2010, earthquake significantly damaged key infrastructure and reduced the capacity of Haiti’s medical facilities. While slowly improving, Haiti’s infrastructure remains in poor condition, unable to support normal activity, much less crisis situations. While the Embassy's ability to provide emergency consular services has improved since the earthquake, it remains limited. The Haitian National Police (HNP), with assistance from the UN Stabilization Force for Haiti (MINUSTAH), is responsible for keeping the peace in Haiti and rendering assistance during times of civil unrest. The level of violent crime in Port-au-Prince, including murder and kidnapping, remains a concern and Haiti is considered a ‘critical threat’ post for crime.

Safety:
There remains a persistent danger of violent crime, including armed robbery, homicide, rape, and kidnapping. While the size of the Haitian National Police (HNP) force has been growing and its capabilities improving, its ability to maintain citizen security is limited. The presence of MINUSTAH peacekeeping troops and UN-formed police units remain critical to maintaining an adequate level of security throughout the country. The limited capability of local law enforcement to respond to and investigate crimes further compounds the security threat to U.S. citizens. In particular, there have been cases in which travelers arriving in Port-au-Prince on flights from the United States were attacked and robbed after exiting the airport by car (two such cases involving U.S. citizens have been reported in the first six months of 2013). Police authorities believe criminals may be targeting travelers arriving on flights from the United States, following them, and attacking once they are out of the area. 

It is important to exercise a high degree of caution throughout the country. Keep valuables well hidden, ensure possessions are not left in parked vehicles, use private transportation, alternate your travel routes, and keep doors and windows in homes and vehicles closed and locked. You should avoid all night-time travel due to poor road conditions and increased criminal activity after dark. Remain alert for suspicious onlookers when entering and exiting banks, as criminals often watch and subsequently attack bank customers. Withdrawals of large amounts of cash should be avoided. 

Avoid using public transportation, including "tap-taps" (private transportation used for commercial purposes). All public transportation is prohibited for Embassy personnel due to the safety and security risks associated with its use. When arriving to Haiti by air, arrange for someone you know to meet you at the airport.

Travel:
Driving in Haiti must be undertaken with extreme caution. Traffic is usually chaotic; those with no knowledge of Haitian roads and traffic customs should hire a driver through a local tour operator or hotel. Roads are generally unmarked, and detailed and accurate maps are not widely available. Lanes are not marked and signs indicating the direction of traffic flow seldom exist. Huge potholes may cause drivers to execute unpredictable and dangerous maneuvers in heavy traffic. The Haitian government lacks adequate resources to assist drivers in distress or to clear the road of accidents or broken-down vehicles blocking the flow of traffic. While drinking and driving is illegal in Haiti, people frequently drive after drinking, especially at night.

Although Haitian law requires that applicants pass both a written and a driving test to qualify for a driver’s license, many Haitian drivers appear unaware of traffic laws. Signaling imminent actions is not widely practiced and not all drivers use turn indicators or international hand signals properly. For instance, many drivers use their left blinker for all actions, including turning right and stopping in the road, and others flap their left arm out the window to indicate that they will be taking an unspecified action. Drivers do not always verify that the road is clear before switching lanes, turning, or merging. When making a left-hand turn, drivers should be aware that traffic may pass on the left while they are attempting to turn. This is legal in Haiti. The driver passing on the left has the right of way even when the car being overtaken has its left-hand turn signal on and is attempting to turn left.

In addition to vehicles, a variety of other objects may appear on the road in Haiti, such as wooden carts dragged by people or animals, small ice cream carts, animals, mechanics working on vehicles parked on the street, and vendors and their wares. Haiti’s unwritten rule of the road is that any vehicle that breaks down, must be left exactly where it stopped until it can be repaired, even if it creates an enormous backup of traffic. Cars often remain in the roadway for hours or days while often extensive repairs are carried out in-situ. Vehicles are often abandoned in the road or by the side of the road. These are often identified by tree branches extending from the rear of the vehicle. There are few marked crosswalks and sidewalks, and pedestrians often wend their way through traffic in urban areas. Additionally, motorcycles on Haitian roads tend to maneuver in between traffic on both the left and right sides of vehicles, as well as into on-coming traffic. Drivers should check all their rear view mirrors prior to changing lanes or making turns to avoid colliding with other traffic.



I know that it was a lot of reading, and if you want the full read up, look at the site above! There were a couple feelings coming from reading this:
1. Thank the LORD for letting me stay in a country that is so AMAZING. How blessed we are to be able to live in America where people drive on the right side of the road and there are hospitals and police officers that can help us and support us in our times of need.
2. I'm a bit scared to go... not enough NOT to go... but I know it will be an eye opening experience for me.
3. SOOOOOOO thankful we'll get to take our child out of that environment and give them one of love and support! I just pray that we get there before they have to experience TOO much of it!

 I hope you pray for our little one that is living in Haiti right now. They need our love, support, and prayers as much as we can give! 

On the Road

Hey all! Things are happening  in our adoption process and it feels so exciting!!! We're hoping things go as fast as they can, and we can get moving on everything (all the paper work) as quickly as we possibly can go! I'm so thankful for our adoption agency and our amazing social worker they are making everything seem doable in a situation where there really is SOOOOOO much to do and complete!

Right now The Man and I are writing our autobiography! It has been an intense step back into my childhood that I had forgotten a lot about. Not because it was bad.... I just struggle to remember so many specific details (the struggles of getting old... eh?). Some awesome things I got to write about is how close my family is, how much I love and appreciate my family, and I got a good look at how amazing my parents really are. They raised all 4 of us kids to grow up and love and appreciate each other! What an amazing feat! I also love bragging about how awesome my siblings are! They are some of my favorite people on this earth! I can't imagine any moment in my life without them. They have been there for me through each and every moment (good or bad) and I love them so much for it. It has been such a great (and time consuming) writing experience for me.

The funniest conversation The Man and I had about it was when we were sitting down eating dinner and I was asking him about his autobiography and how far he was and what he was writing about his parents... Then I asked him how formal he was writing this autobiography:
He said: " A little bit formal and a little bit informal"
I said: "You are? I'm writing pretty informal..."
He said: "You don't have another kind of writing, that is how you write."
I said: "I can write formally, I just hate it... and I don't want to EVER!"
He said: "mmm.... I don't know about that..."
I said: "It's called voice dear.... I write with a lot of voice"
He said: "I don't think formal writing has voice...."
I said: "well....... I use smiley faces in my autobiography... so....."
He said: laughing at me
I said: "I mean a LOT of smiley faces 
He said: still laughing at me and shaking his head
I said: That's a part of my voice!" (laughing)


On another note we had our first home visit YESTERDAY! We have tons of "assignments," papers, and forms to get ready. We're so excited for this adoption every step we take we get one step closer to seeing our child. Our beloved amazing child that is waiting for us in Haiti!


Thanks for all your prayers and support. Please continue!

I believe this will be our mantra for awhile: 

 

All of Me (us)

I listen to K-love quite often... I'm sure that is not a shocker. I love it.... Anyway, one day the family was sitting in our car waiting for..... I don't know what.... Something (great details right?!?!?) Anyway the song "All of Me" by Matt Hammitt came on.

LYRICS: 

Afraid to love

Something that could break

Could I move on 

If you were torn away

And I'm so close 

To what I can't control

I can't give you half my heart

And pray He makes you whole

You're gonna have all of me

You're gonna have all of me

'Cause you're worth every falling tear

You're worth facing any fear

You're gonna know all my love

Even if it's not enough

Enough to mend our broken hearts

But giving you all of me 

Is where I'll start

I won't let sadness 

Steal you from my arms

I won't let pain keep you from my heart

I'll trade the fear of all that I could lose 

For every moment I'll share with you

You're gonna have all of me

You're gonna have all of me

'Cause you're worth every falling tear

You're worth facing any fear

You're gonna know all my love

Even if it's not enough

Enough to mend our broken hearts

But giving you all of me 

Is where I'll start

Heaven brought you to this moment

It's too wonderful to speak

You're worth all of me 

You're worth all of me

So let me recklessly love you

Even if I bleed

You're worth all of me 

You're worth all of me

This song is about Matt's worries about his unborn child. They weren't sure if their child was going to make it through the pregnancy and birth. Matt started to  build up some walls to try and protect his heart from the possibility of losing his child. As I sat in the car and sang with the radio the words spoke so much to me! The first time through the chorus I really started to belt it out (those of you who know me, know when I say belt out the chorus I'm not being dramatic.... I love singing... and I just go for it.. no reservations... don't judge!) Anyway, as I belted out the chorus I felt these words hitting my heart and suddenly I'm not just singing the words, but I'm praying them, I'm saying them to my adopted child... wherever my child is right now... whatever my child is doing right now.... I was singing this to them.

I know this adoption process going to be a roller coaster of a ride. I know that there are going to be times where I'm going to feel defeated and that we're NEVER going to have our child home. But right then and there I decided that my adopted child is going to have all of me, know all my love (even if it's not enough), and through this journey I'm going to try my very hardest to not build up those barriers over my heart! I want my adopted child to know not just my (and THE MAN's and the Bash's) love, but God's love! Our family has so much love to give, I cannot wait to spread it to them.... 


So, wherever you are child of mine (ours)...... You're in for it! :) We're already in the process of finding you, loving you, bringing you home to where you belong (with us), and loving on you! 

WE'RE SOOOOOOOO EXCITED!!!!

Family

Through this holiday week I have discovered how truly blessed we are to have the families we have. I've always known how amazing our families are, but this new phase in our lives does not just effect us (although it MAINLY does) it also effects our families that will ALSO be loving and accepting our child into the family.

Our little family took 2 nice road trips to see family over Christmas break! We were greeted with the same love and excitement that we usually receive, but this time our families also welcomed the idea of having a new child in their lives. One from Haiti.

"My daughter is adopting from Haiti" My mother tells a store clerk....

"Here's some funds to get things started" my mom-in-law said to us as she passed over part of our Christmas gift! Excited to have her new grandchild as soon as humanly possible!

My brother-in-law giving us funds out of his savings (even as he begins a new journey in his life).

"What's the next step? How does this work..." Excitement and acceptance filled our families dialogue as we talked over Christmas!

It's kind of funny because my husband and I didn't even consider for a moment that our families would be nothing but excited for us on our new adventure. Mainly because we have both been raised with such loving and supportive families.... I never knew what a complete blessing it was until this Christmas arrived. Family giving us prayers, thoughts, questions, excitement, and even some money to get things started. We could not have felt more loved and cared for!

I can't just stop with family.... because our friends have given us so much love and support as well. They continue to send nice notes over email and facebook. Each person willing to hook us up with friends or family member that have gone through the adoption process, give us an encouraging words, or help fund us!

THANK YOU! THANK YOU! THANK YOU!!

As we prepare for this new bundle of amazingness, our families and friends are too! We feel so blessed that you want to be a part of the journey. We feel so blessed that we have people that care for us so much. The thought of this process seems less and less scary with all of you by our sides. Thank you again for your rich blessings that you have given to us whether through kind words, prayers, and even some of you blessing us with some funds for our adoption. We could not feel more loved on this Christmas.

With your help, we are able to start our journey this January! 

We start with the first step: our home study! :)